


Withering (away) With You

by exstellna



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, kurooken - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27472201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exstellna/pseuds/exstellna
Summary: They say that love would bring smiles on faces, make you glow a different type of light, bring warmth to all parts of you.But they never said that it’ll also bring pain and misery to one's body. To make you feel that without acceptance, nothing could fix you, not even yourself.Nobody told Kenma that it was this bad . But, deep down, everyone thought Kenma knew.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Withering (away) With You

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever haikyuu fan fiction and I honestly don't know what I'm doing. As hinted from the title, this takes place in a alternate universe, in which the Hanahaki Disease exist. Im sorry if it's not accurate. I hope anyone who reads the genuinely enjoys this :) 
> 
> side note; it's w work in progress! I haven't finished the story yet :<  
> (I changed the plot slightly :>)

* * *

They say that love would bring smiles on faces, make you glow a different type of light, bring warmth to all parts of you. 

They say love feels like floating but there’s a sense of familiarity with your surroundings. You would feel safe, feel right. Some would say that it’s like finally trying something new that’s so good, you can still taste the lingering aftertaste in your mouth.

But they never said that it’ll also bring pain and misery to one's body. To make you feel that without acceptance, nothing could fix you, not even yourself.

They never said that it would mentally break you, scar you. They never said that it feels like that wave of utter exhaustion, despair, when your body had enough of running, fighting. They never said that it feels as if the veins on your neck are about to burst after shouting your whole soul out into the void, expecting a reply back.

Nobody told Kenma that it was this bad . But, deep down, everyone thought Kenma knew.

* * *

The sounds of grunts and battle music could be heard throughout the house. It was also followed by giggles and a string of curse words. You could feel the sense of purity and genuine fun from downstairs. As Kuroo greeted Kenma’s parents before going towards Kenma’s room, more laughter had erupted, followed by a loud groan of frustration.

Kuroo crept up the stairs, not wanting to disturb the two in the room. Still moving silently, he sneaked towards the door, carefully opening it so that it doesn’t make any creaks. He slowly entered the dimly lit room, making his way towards Kenma’s bed. As he sat, he watched the two that were seated on the floor, banter.

“I was just going easy on you, I swear,” The blond mumbled as he playfully shoved his ginger haired friend. Hinata only laughed further, playfully shoving Kenma too. This only earned a huff from Kenma, annoyed that he had lost three or more rounds by someone who claimed that they were a ‘noob’ or ‘inexperienced’ in playing video games.

“I’m sorry,” Hinata dragged as he leaned on Kenma. “I’ll let you win next round, okay?” Hinata continued with a sly grin on his face.

Kenma pushes Hinata off, laughing a bit as he rolled his eyes. Letting go of what had happened, he went to take a sip of his drink. Although, before he could take a sip, from the corner of his eye, he saw a grinning Kuroo. Taking note of it, Kenma fully turned around, giving Kuroo the most blank expression.

Hinata, confused, followed along and turned around too. His eyes widened when he realised that Kuroo was there, sitting on the bed with a wide smile on his face.

“Kuroo! I didn’t see you! When did you come in?” Hinata asked as he moved towards Kenma, gesturing for Kuroo to sit together with them. Kuroo only chuckled before sitting beside Hinata.

“A few minutes ago.” He answered as he sat crossed legged along with the two. “I figured I shouldn't disturb you both,” Kuroo shrugged before taking the extra controller that was placed at the table.

Having nothing to say, Hinata began picking out the maps for the next round. As he did that, Kuroo gave Kenma a sly smirk, eyebrows raised as well. Kenma frowned at his expression, not knowing what he was hinting at. Kuroo’s smirk only grew more before facing the television and giving his attention to Hinata.

**\---**

Hinata took his things before leaving the room, Kuroo and Kenma following behind. Hinata waved goodbye, a soft smile shown. Heading out the door, he said is goodbyes to his two friends.

“See you again Kenma, Kuroo!” He said before getting on his bicycle, cycling his way home. Kuroo and Kenma stood by the door frame, watching Hinata’s silhouette getting smaller as the distance grew larger.

Leaning on the wall, Kuroo watched Kenma’s expression. He let out a small chuckle, earning a frown from his blonde friend. Huffing, Kenma went straight to his room, clearly not up for whatever nonsense Kuroo was going to spew out any moment from now.

As Kuroo tried calling out for Kenma, he only responded back with an annoyed grunt. Kuroo only whined, laughing as well. He followed Kenma up the stairs, annoying Kenma further. Soon enough, Kenma shoved Kuroo, wanting him to shut up.

“I swear if you’re going to say my name on more time-”

“Say, do you like chibi-chan?” Kuroo interrupted Kenma, lifting himself up.

Kenma, taken aback, only stared at Kuroo in disbelief.

“Do you?” Kuroo pressed on, leaning on the edge of the bed, sitting on the floor.

Kenma, not knowing what to say, hit Kuroo with the nearest pillow. Kenma chuckled at Kuroo, who was frowning before hitting Kenma back with the same pillow.

“You still didn’t answer my question,”

“I don’t need to answer a dumb question,”

“Why you-”

* * *

Ever since that day, Kuroo wouldn’t stop bothering Kenma about that question. He would go out his way to purposely disturb Kenma, persistent to get an answer out.

Although, even if he did give Kuroo an answer, Kuroo wouldn’t believe it. 

“Are you sure you’re not lying?” Kuroo would say. Or the occasional, “Your face doesn’t match what you’re saying,”

As much as he knew Kuroo was messing around, or so he thinks, he couldn’t help but think about it whenever he was lost in thought. It’s as if the thought lingers around, waiting to be confronted. It’s as if he himself wants to find out himself.

However, Kenma doesn’t dwell about it. It’s just a passing thought anyway. Plus, it’s probably because of Kuroo’s persistence that had influenced his own brain into turning in on himself.

Kenma continued walking down the corridor, lost in deep thoughts again. However, instead of thinking about Kuroo’s question itself, he wonders why Kuroo had suddenly asked him that question. It wasn’t like Kuroo to ask random questions without any reasoning behind it. 

It couldn’t be possible if Kuroo thought that Kenma had feelings for Hinata, right?

Kenma shook his head. That couldn’t be possible. If he had feelings for Hinata, or anyone in general, he would definitely know.

Before Kenma could’ve thought further, he heard someone calling him from a distance. He visibly cringed, hiding his face from the sudden attention from the crowd. 

Kuroo placed an arm around Kenma, looking at his short friend with a cheeky smile. Kenma only stood there with a blank stare. As expected, Kuroo continued asking about Kenma’s feelings. As they walked, Kenma pushed Kuroo’s arm off his shoulders. Tidying up his attire, he only walked faster, trying to avoid Kuroo.

“Kenma!” Kuroo whined, running after him. Kenma only huffed before turning around to face his best friend.

“What,” Kenma snapped, crossing his arm.

Kuroo halted in front of him. Judging from the tone, Kuroo definitely pushed past his boundaries. Kuroo stood there, placed a hand behind his head sheepishly, not knowing what to say. If he joked around, Kenma would clearly lose his patience.    


“Cat got your tongue?” Kenma gave out a half hearted chuckle, “Didn’t you have something so important to ask me?” He said, exaggerating the word ‘so’ as he moved his arms for more emphasis.

Before Kuroo could apologize, the school bell had rung, signifying the end of their lunch break. Without saying a word, Kenma walked away, making his way to class.

_ Fuck. _

**\---**

As soon as the last school bell rang, students got out from their seats and began packing their bags. Kenma took his time, waiting for the vast majority of the students to leave before he does. He didn’t like having too many people around, the attention of students made him feel queasy. He doesn’t understand how some people adore being looked at. However, some days, he envied those people for being so comfortable being in the spotlight.

While Kenma sat at his desk, waiting, his phone suddenly lit up. He picked it up, looking at the screen. One message.

**_Rooster head;_ **

_ I’m waiting at the gate  _

_ Don’t ignore me :( _

_ I’m sorry :( _

_ I’ll treat you to apple pie :) _

Kenma only rolled his eyes before sending a simple ‘ok’. When the halls and classroom were almost empty, Kenma got out of his seat, exiting the place. As he got closer to the gate, he saw Kuroo waving at him. Sighing, he walked faster towards Kuroo.

They began walking, an awkward silence filling up the air. Kuroo cleared his throat, which earned a questioning look from Kenma.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you for the past few days,” Kuroo sheepishly mumbled, a hand placed at the back of his head, “I just wanted to know if you had feelings for him, that’s all. Plus, you seemed a lot more happier with him around,”

Kenma only laughed at Kuroo’s apology. He didn’t expect Kuroo to actually tell him what he’s been thinking. Kuroo only looked at Kenma with wide eyes, feeling somewhat bashful.

“H-hey! What are you laughing at!”

“Nothing. You were being nice, that’s all,”

“I’m always nice, what do you mean!”

**\---**

After their little banter, they finally arrived at their local café. It wasn’t anything fancy. It was a small café that was placed at the end of a street. It wasn’t crowded either, giving it a sense of comfort, at least to Kenma. In short, it was quiet and quaint. 

Walking in, the door hit the bell, making a ‘ding’ sound as they came in. As if it was planned, the owner’s cat came towards the two. Of course, Kuroo couldn’t resist petting the small creature.

Kenma only rolled his eyes before going towards the counter. The cashier smiled at the sight of the two boys. Kenma returned a smile before looking at the menu, even though he always orders the same thing. Soon enough, Kuroo was behind the short blonde.

“The regular for you Kenma?”

Kenma looked up from the menu before nodding. He looked at Kuroo, who was pouting as he looked at the menu, not sure what he wanted to eat for the day. Eventually, he ended up choosing a salted caramel cake. The cashier nodded before tallying up their total.

Fulfilling his promise, Kuroo paid for the both of them. After that was settled, the both of them went to sit. As they wait for their desserts to arrive, the both of them would occasionally tell each other about their day. Although, most of the time, it was just Kuroo talking. However, as Kuroo was talking, someone had entered the place. 

Looking over towards the door, Kenma noticed the familiar bright orange hair. His face lifted when he saw who it was. Noticing the sudden change of expression, Kuroo turned around to face the door.

Hinata.

With.. Kageyama?

As Hinata looked around, his eyes met the two. Smiling brightly, he waved at the two. Kageyama, confused, looked at where the ginger was looking. Noticing Kuroo and Kenma, he gave a small smile.

Hinata dragged Kageyama along, walking towards Kenma and Kuroo.

“Hi! I didn’t expect to see you two here!”

Kuroo laughed, understanding what he meant. It was rare to see Kenma out with anyone. Hell, dragging him out is a hassle itself. He gestured to the two to sit down alongside them. Thanking Kuroo, Hinata and Kageyama sat. After a few conversations, Kageyama went to order for Hinata and himself. 

As he went to the counter, Kuroo smirked at Hinata.

“Do you two hang out often?”

Hinata pursed his lips. “Well, if you mean like going out together, rarely. However, we do spend a lot of time together in school,” Hinata smiled, shrugging as well.

Kuroo nodded. Before Kuroo could ask anything more, their desert had arrived. Both Kenma and Kuroo thanked the waitress before digging in. 

“However, we do occasionally study at each other's house,” Hinata continued. Kuroo raised his eyebrows, surprised to think that these two would study together. Kenma However, only frowned slightly towards Kuroo.

Soon enough, Kageyama came back, joining them again.

Hinata’s eyes lit up suddenly, remembering something, “Once, I walked in to Kageyama reading a shōjo manga and was fangirl-”

Before he could continue, Kageyama poked his side, his face slightly pink as he scolded Hinata. Kuroo only chuckled. Kenma however, had a blank stare. Kuroo encouraged Hinata to continue, leading to Kageyama being more embarrassed. He knew that that ginger knew too many embarrassing things.

“Oh!” Hinata exclaimed, “He once ran into a door as I was chasing him because he didn’t want to show me what was on his phone and it was a-”

Kageyama placed a hand over Hinata’s mouth, face flushed pink. He let out a small chuckled to Kuroo and Kenma. However, Hinata licked Kageyama’s palm, causing him to remove it in disgust. The two then started to banter, attacking each other in between their argument.

Kuroo only laughed at the two, trying to stop them. However, Kenma couldn’t help but feel a tug in his chest. He didn’t know why but he felt.. uncomfortable. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Kageyama, but he couldn’t explain the feeling of hearing the two having memorable moments together.

* * *

Hinata waved goodbye while Kageyama nodded. The two then began walking home together. As soon as they walked, Kenma turned around and went on without Kuroo. Surprised, Kuroo jogged beside Kenma. Walking in a comfortable silence, Kuroo looked at Kenma.

Throughout the whole day, Kenma was really quiet. Sure, he usually doesn’t talk much but Kuroo expected him to at least have a conversation since Hinata was there. Hell, he was the one that saw him in the first place.

“You alright?”

Kenma nodded, still looking ahead. Kuroo only frowned at him.

“You look pretty down, you know? What’s up with that?” Kuroo pressed on. He didn’t like it when Kenma didn’t tell him what’s going on. Hell, he hated looking at his friend being sad.

“I’m alright. It’s literally nothing. You worry over nothing.” Kenma huffed, not wanting Kuroo to press on further. 

“You know, I've been your friend since we were kids. You don’t need to hi-”

“It’s nothing! Why would I hide anything from you in the first place!” Kenma hissed, coming out more defensive than he wanted to. Kuroo flinched slightly, not saying anything after. He didn’t want to anger Kenma any further than he already did.

Silence loomed after them. Neither of them said anything. Kuroo knew Kenma had something going on. It wasn’t like him to get defensive out of the blue. Kenma however, didn’t want to dwell over his feelings about today. It wasn’t anything big anyway, he probably wasn’t comfortable with Kageyama suddenly joining.

Eventually, Kuroo had arrived home. However, before Kenma could continue walking to his own house, Kuroo ended up saying something. Before Kenma could say anything, Kuroo went into his house.

Whatever that Kuroo said seemed to linger in his mind as he made his way home. He couldn’t help but feel somewhat agitated. 

_ What do you mean by that? Nothing is going on right now _

He sighed as he entered his home. The words Kuroo said still echo in his mind.

_ “Eventually, you’ll have to admit that something is going on.” _

**\---**

Thankfully, the next day, both of them didn’t bring up anything about yesterday. To Kenma’s surprise, Kuroo did stop asking him about his feelings towards Hinata. They both walked to school, Kuroo talking about what he wants to eat during lunch and nagging at Kenma about his sleep schedule. Basically, the usual daily routine that they had.

As soon as the bell rang, the two parted ways, making their way to their respected homerooms. Kenma sat at his place, his eyes fixated on his phone. Despite that, he couldn’t ease himself from the sense of people looking at his every move. He mumbled for class to start soon, wanting the day to finally end. For this whole week to end.

As if on cue, the bell rang once again, leaving the scattered students rushing to their seats before their teacher came in the class.

**\---**

Kenma let out a sigh as he took his bento from his bag, glad that the first half of the day was over. Soon enough, the relief he had washed away when he heard Yamamoto, Fukunaga and Kuroo calling for him from out the class door. He rolled his eyes before reluctantly going to them.

As they made their way to the back of the school, to their usual spot to eat lunch, Yamamoto placed his arm around Kenma’s shoulder. He then started talking about some girls he thought that was cute.

“Are you really that desperate Yamamoto?” Kenma asked out of the blue. Yamamoto let out a dramatic gasp as the other two boys snickered at Kenma’s comment.

“I- Well, I'm not that desperate, okay!” Yamamoto huffed, sitting down just like the rest. Kenma only hummed, not believing a word from Yamamoto. 

“Suure you aren’t,” Fukunaga managed to say out loud, giggling at the side.

As Kenma, Yamamoto and Fukunaga started bickering, the two trying to embarrass Yamamoto, Kuroo ate his food. He would occasionally chuckle, seeing Yamamoto being very defensive over himself. This went on for another few minutes. Eventually, Yamamoto admitted defeat bitterly, causing both Kenma and Fukunaga to laugh.

Yamamoto huffed, taking a bite out of his sandwich. Soon after, he leaned on the table, looking at Kuroo with a smirk.

“What?” Kuroo asked, eyebrows raised.

“Say Kuroo.. Do you have a specific type? You’ve been awfully quiet,” Yamamoto teased, a smirk began to form on his face. Kuroo only rolled his eyes.

“I don’t really care much.” He vaguely answered, shrugging his shoulders. Yamamoto whined, wanting more from him.

“I’m not sure why but Kuroo gives off that he likes blondes,”

Realising what Fukunaga had said, Kuroo choked on his rice. The rest stopped giggling as soon as they heard him coughing violently. Worried, Kenma passed Kuroo’s water bottle to him, not wanting him to choke any further. As Yamamoto patted his back, both Kenma and Fukunaga asked if he was okay. Kuroo nodded, clearing his throat as well before drinking another sip of water. 

“Geez Kuroo, I didn’t know you were that hungry,”

“Shut it blondie!”

**\---**

The boys huffed, breathing through their mouths as they ran around the neighbourhood. Everyone was covered in their sweat, feeling extremely tired and fuzzy from the hot weather. Despite the morning being cool and breezy, the afternoon was extremely warm and humid.

While the rest were already almost done, Kenma was running behind. He was trying his best to keep up although he couldn’t be bothered after a while. It was too humid, too warm. His body felt like it was on fire. 

Surprisingly Kuroo was running alongside Kenma. Usually, he would’ve finished his laps before Kenma. Of course, this had striked out as odd to the other members. Although, as expected from Kuroo’s personality, he insisted that he was fine. 

As the two of them ran, Kuroo would occasionally cough. It wasn’t those normal coughs that you would get suddenly, it was those rough, in your throat type of coughs. It didn’t help that he would hold it in instead of letting it out most of the time. Not only that, Kuroo felt a little dizzy, his vision somewhat getting blurry with every step.

“You should sit out, you don’t seem okay,” Kenma managed to huff out, looking at Kuroo concerned. 

Kuroo shook his head, not wanting to miss any bit of practice. He managed to give Kenma a smile, wanting to convince him that he was indeed fine, even though his head was a pounding mess. Kenma only frowned but didn’t push it further. He was more concerned over finishing hi

Soon enough, they all finished their laps. As they made their way back to the gym, they took a few sips of water. Despite that, Kuroo still continued coughing somewhat violently, his balance became slightly unstable. Nobuyuki patted the back of the captain and held his arm for support.

“You should really rest Kuroo. You’ve been coughing since the start of practice,”

“And it’s getting worse by the minute. Especially after the run,”

The rest nodded in agreement towards Yaku’s and Nobuyuki’s statements. Before Kuroo could deny and convince them he was fine once more, he violently coughs, clutching his sides as well. Kuroo only groaned after easing down, agreeing to what they had said.

Considering how Kenma was the one closest to Kuroo, both friendship and living distance wise, the team let Kenma take Kuroo home. As they made their way home, Kuroo grew somewhat paler. He was still coughing violently, occasionally making Kenma pat Kuroo’s back to ease it out.

Soon enough, Kuroo was home. Kenma politely explained what had happened. Before Kenma left for his own, Kuroo’s parents thanked Kenma, giving him some of their leftover dessert. Waving goodbye, he then left to be back home, thinking of checking up on his friend the next day.

* * *

Kuroo’s small fever managed to subside the next day. He woke up, feeling more refreshed than anything. His throat was somewhat dry but it felt better than yesterday. Kuroo still didn’t know what had happened to him. He slowly got out of bed, not wanting to worsen his current state. As much as he felt fine, his head still was somewhat pounding.

Kuroo made his way to the bathroom, freshening himself up. After he got ready, he went downstairs to get some food. To his dismay, he was alone at home. Again. He sighed before going to the kitchen, trying to make breakfast with what he had.

Before he could even properly look through his cabinets, the doorbell rang, making Kuroo jump slightly. It continued ringing, making Kuroo let out an annoyed groan. He dragged himself to the door.

“Yes what do-”

“Good morning. I brought you food,” Kenma greeted, taking out his shoes after he handed Kuroo the little bag. Kuroo, slightly dumbfounded, took the food to the kitchen. Kenma followed soon after.

“Your parents dropped by this morning. They said if anything happened, we’d give them a call. I thought it'd be better if I came over and took care of you for the time being.” Kenma shrugged, pouring cereal into the bowl he had just taken.

Kuroo formed a small smile on his face, a warm feeling forming in his chest. He sat down at the kitchen isle, opening up the bag. His eyes lit up when he saw that it was egg sandwiches.

“Kyanma!” Kuroo somewhat whined. Kenma only rolled his eyes at his dramatic best friend before sitting down.

“I figured you’d want something nicer than chicken soup,” Kenma shrugged.

He pouted, somewhat teary eyed. Kuroo took a mouthful out of the sandwich, dramatically moaning. Kenma only gave Kuroo a disgusted look, making sure that Kuroo knows that he’s being judged. Kuroo only sticked his tongue out before he continued to devour the sandwich.

“Geez, slow down!”

**\---**

Kuroo let out a sneeze, sniffling slightly after. Kenma passed a tissue to Kuroo as he took the cloth from Kuroo’s forehead. Kuroo muttered a thanks as he blew his nose. Kenma didn’t say anything while he soaked the cloth in the lukewarm water that was in a basin. He squeezed out the excess water before placing it back on Kuroo.

For the past few hours, they spend their time laying on the couch, watching mindless television and simply enjoying each other's company. There were times where Kuroo would complain about being restless. Kenma would only groan, shutting Kuroo up by placing a pillow on his head. Although, after a while, Kuroo’s fever began to come back.

“I told you to rest just now,” Kenma nagged. Kuroo only whined, not wanting to give in that he should’ve listened to Kenma.

Kenma huffed before he stood up. He stood, looking at Kuroo blankly. Before Kuroo could ask what he was thinking, Kenma had made his way to the Kitchen. Kenma looked through the cabinets. Soon enough, he took out the chicken stock and some spices. 

Hearing the noises from the kitchen, Kuroo sat up slightly, his head peeking above the back of the couch. He couldn’t help but have a soft expression while watching Kenma cook. He felt secure and warm. It wasn’t weird, it was Kenma after all. Though, he didn’t know why his stomach felt heavy. In a good way of course.

Few minutes later, Kenma served the chicken soup to Kuroo. Kuroo smiled brightly, thanking him before digging in. They sat in a comfortable silence.

“Remember when you fell that one time?” Kenma suddenly brought up. Kuroo nodded.

“You cried so badly and that was the day that you also fell in love with the egg sandwiches,” Kenma laughed. Kuroo couldn’t help but chuckle along with Kuroo.

“I still have the picture of us eating the sandwiches in my room,”

Kenma smiled fondly at the television. Kuroo only raised eyebrows at Kenma. Though he couldn’t help but feel that warm feeling again. Just seeing Kenma smile or laugh made him feel really happy.

His stomach felt heavy once more but he didn’t mind one bit.


End file.
